The rule of 3rds - mentors, peers and mentoring

While many have come across the mantra that we’re the average of the 5 people we most hang out with, sadly this has resulted in some trying to treat this as a zero sum based game where some obsessively only surround themselves with people who are further ahead in the journey or “successful”. 

Think of a fish tank full of crabs or lobsters where everybody is for themselves, and no one gets to escape!

A more wholesome approach is to recognise that there is indeed value in having mentors who are several steps ahead of you and likely also several decades older than you. A lot of wisdom comes over compounded trails over time. 

And we sure need peers of people on a similar journey to use in our given time and cycle of life. Those who can encourage and be encouraged who can relate closely to our day to day rhythms. 

However, everything and everyone can be our teachers too and the chances are that some can benefit from your mentoring as you may be ahead of them. Having been mentored should inspire you to mentor and help others they way you yourself were helped. 

Today make a conscious effort to look up to those ahead, look to the side to be of encouragement and to those who look up to you to lift them up. 

And if you want a friend, start by being a friend. The same applies to mentoring and encouragement. There’s no greater gift than giving. 

How we do things around here

  • Leaders eat last
  • Managing upwards
  • Search-driven development
  • Building on the shoulders of giants

Further Examples

Curiosity, learning and change as a muscle that needs to be exercised

And just as a muscle needs movement before atrophy so does our mind and brain. Sure, feel free to start going to the gym at your 40’s, 50’s’s or eve 60’s. It’s not impossible but it will be harder. Being curious is a mindset and provides de initial impetus to affect change. Learning news ways of thinking and doing which catapult change. The more you change your mind, the easier it becomes and flexibility becomes the norm.

Open Communication and Asynchronous Collaboration by default

Open communication is vital for collaboration, with praise given publicly and correction privately. Respecting people’s time and space means considering the purpose of communication and using asynchronous methods like documentation and prototypes as a priority before requesting expensive synchronous meetings.